Let me tell you something, something about my bear.
I have been wanting to gather a collection of images of people with their bears, with a few words about them. To begin I thought I would find my bear. Last night I tucked her up in bed with me and in the middle of the night the strangest thing happened.
First, my bear felt too small. I could have sworn she was bigger, and then the child inside me began to remember.
Walking up the road on the way home from Swan Lane School, hand reaching up into my mother’s hand, feet bright in new shoes, Startright sandals. I remembered how the buckles jingled, how the leather smelt when I took them out of the box, the sound of the soles on the floor. Crepe soles. Looking in the window of Boots, the Chemist in Evesham. A curved window. It was autumn. There on a shelf, high up, a panda, in a box. It was love at first sight.
Every day on the way back from school, stop, look at the panda, dream, hope, wish.
Then one day my Auntie Win came and we went for a walk, through the park into town and I took her to look through the curved window and NO. How could it be? She was gone. Heart fell. Sad. Walking home.
Then, Christmas day and a parcel from Aunty Win, and inside, oh. My bear. Mine. My panda. And her name was Suzi.
She went everywhere with me for a while, and then was always there in my bed when I came home. Loved until her fur fell off and dropped into puddles and washed and oh the trauma if ever she was lost. I knit her a red jumper when I had learned to knit.
Then she went to college.
Suzi came too.
Time flies. But a small bear brought back so many memories as once again, after so many years of neglect I cuddled her close, of how big she felt in my hands and feelings and the smell of new shoes and walking home from school, and of my auntie, who is now dead, though sometimes I forget. And now I understand how sometimes we never really understand how much we love someone until they are no longer there.
And now I would like, if you will for you to tell me Something About Your Bear. So send me a photo if you have one, and a few words. I want to build a blog post of memories, to celebrate the launch of Something About a Bear. ( email your photos to me, and I will begin to build a page. If you have a website send me places to link to also)
Please share if you will.